What’s going on in “Rescuing”

This is a sad story because it describes a profound degree of parental neglect. Not only that, but here’s the big sister who doesn’t seem to expect anything more. It’s her job to keep her brothers alive, and she seems to accept this role as a given. It’s as if she has no choice: if she doesn’t care for them, no one else will.

The story describes three siblings who seem to have given up hoping for a parent’s love or caretaking. While we don’t see the backstory of neglect—what we can assume has been years of a single mom who is too tired, too depressed, too whatever, to be able to adequately care for the kids. While we don’t know the history—though there are other stories about these three kids in which we do learn how they essentially do all the house work, from cooking and cleaning to the laundry—we see the big sister already adopting a parental role with her two younger brothers.

This is the aftermath of a child who is ambivalently attached. What then does it mean to be ambivalently (or avoidantly) attached?

This kind of attachment forms when kids regularly learn that their needs will not be adequately met. It’s the kind of kid who doesn’t cry out for his needs because he’s learned that crying doesn’t help. They learn that going to a parent often meets with rejection or frustration because the parent isn’t able or willing to care for them. And so the kids “never complain, and rarely ask for anything” because there “wasn’t much use in talking.”

The big sister in Rescuing watches her brother get a swim lesson, and she’s jealous because her brother feels cared for by Fernando, a man who seems attuned to the boy. For example, when the boy comes up sputtering after floating in the water, he’s unstable, his arms “flailing” as he lurches to his feet. But Fernando is there to catch him and steady his arm, and in this small way, he’s showing that he will attend to the boy’s needs.

Similarly, when the sister pulls her baby brother from the water and keeps him from drowning, it’s Fernando who is paying attention and goes running to them. This is a man who is aware of others, and it’s this awareness—this ability to be attuned to others’ needs—that the big sister craves.

At the end, if she’s not able to get this herself, at least she can provide it to her brother, meeting him at the water’s edge with a towel ready for him. While she can provide this kind of caregiving to her brothers, the sister can’t replace a parent’s attunement. It seems she and her brother know this at the story’s end when Luis, Fernando’s kid, comes running into the water. The brother knows he’s been replaced by Fernando’s son, and the connection the brother felt will now be enjoyed by Fernando’s son.